WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Good morning, ladies. 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:06.000 Welcome to our inaugural Penton Law Blog. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:08.000 How are you feeling this morning? 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:09.000 Great. 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.000 Good. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:18.000 Good, good. So I'm Denise Penton and I'm here with my paralegals, Veronica and Haileigh. 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:23.000 And we thought we would talk about today is what do our family law clients, 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:25.000 what are they going through these days? 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:30.000 You know, we kind of have a difficult, 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.000 I think, environment these days for family law. 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:37.000 And you guys definitely see something different than I do when we're talking with clients. 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:40.000 So I'd be interested to hear what you have, you know, what you guys are seeing. 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:46.000 I think for a lot of our clients is the uncertainty, feeling lost. 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:53.000 Some clients that are now going or moving into the single role of a parent, 00:00:53.000 --> 00:01:02.000 a lot of times are just worried, don't know where to go, don't know who to turn to. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:08.000 And I think when they talk to us, they open up a lot because they see that we care. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:14.000 And I think with you, they know that you're just there to listen and they feel comfortable with that. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:16.000 Oh, that's good to hear. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:18.000 What are you seeing, Haileigh? 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:29.000 A lot of uncertainty. And I feel like when people do call us, they a lot of the times they don't know where to start or what to ask. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:35.000 And I feel like when we point them in your direction, you help them see more of the light and where to go. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:46.000 And if we don't have the resources, then you have all the resources out there needed for them to reach out to other people, which is amazing. You know, I feel like a lot of lawyers don't give out resources as much. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:54.000 What do you think that when they're calling, what do you think the biggest question that you guys are hearing is? 00:01:54.000 --> 00:02:03.000 Both with the initial call, because that would be you, Haileigh, taking the initial call, and then when they're talking with you, Veronica, you know, what is the biggest thing that you're hearing? 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:12.000 I feel like a lot of the questions I get asked is, you know, can Denise actually help me? Does she have experience? 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:26.000 And I always tell them, yes, you know, she has 20 years of experience. She's been doing family law for a long time. You know, she keeps up her education. You're always going out and learning new things and keeping up to date on the newest laws and the changes, which is amazing. You know, I really look up to that. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:34.000 I'm not sure what other lawyers do behind bars because I've never worked for any of them besides you. You're my first one, but it's amazing seeing that. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:42.000 I'm not sure that that's a good thing. Maybe Veronica can speak to that. Yeah. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:03:00.000 I think when I first get clients, a lot of their question is, yeah, you know, what's going to happen? Am I going to lose everything? How does this work? What about my kid? You know, and those questions are hard to answer because we really don't know. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:11.000 But just to sit there and listen and hear them vent, I think is a lot for them. It helps them out a lot. When you respond to them, you know, I've gotten clients that say, 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:24.000 she actually did call me. And it's like, and it's like, yeah, that's what she does. And you know, and I've worked with a lot of attorneys. I've worked with a lot of good attorneys and yeah, they return, but you're on top of it. 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:39.000 And it's nice to for clients and for people to feel like someone actually cares. It makes a load of a difference. 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:59.000 Well, one of the things they really appreciate about having you guys as support staff is, you know, as attorneys, we get so busy and we really rely on our support staff to be able to interface with our clients and do it in a manner that, you know, puts them at ease, that has empathy, that, you know, 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:14.000 so many of our clients are in crisis. Like nobody ever wants to hire an attorney. Nobody ever can afford to hire an attorney. They're really just forced to be able to do that or forced to do that out of desperation and fear and not knowing where the next step is. 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:33.000 And so being able to talk with you guys and so that you guys can at least answer those initial questions, you know, help them relax a little bit and know that it's they're not walking into this dark void. There's actually a path that we're going to try and walk through. 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:45.000 Veronica, you've been a paralegal for a long time. And so have you seen some, you know, have you seen changes in family law and how clients are kind of responding over the years? 00:04:45.000 --> 00:05:23.000 Um, no, from the very beginning to now, it's still the same questions. What's going to happen? How where am I going to go? What's going to happen to the house? How am I going to do this by myself? You know, I've been a stay at home parent for this long and, you know, I stopped working my career so that way he can have his career. And now I have nothing and where am I going and what am I doing? And it's like, you know, it's still the same questions to be honest. From 18 years ago to now, it's really the same questions, just different people. 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:44.000 Haileigh, what do you see in your generation? Just for those of you who don't see us, we're in different generations and Haileigh is in our younger generation. And so, you know, what do you what do you see in your generation about, you know, about having a family, being a single parent or or getting married and or divorced? What do you see? 00:05:44.000 --> 00:06:00.000 I feel like in my generation, it's I feel like a lot of the times it's more frowned upon if you're a stay at home mom. I feel like now it's really hard to rely on somebody else because marriages, like 50% of them fail. You don't last very long anymore. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:06.000 So it's kind of hard. And now coming into this field, it makes me a little bit more scared to get married. 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:10.000 You really do have to take a leap of faith to get married. 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:29.000 There's a lot that goes into it, especially behind the scenes. And, you know, some marriages are they end well and, you know, they're they're very mutual and they can do things great. And some of them, they just cannot. And it's it's difficult. And, you know, I feel for the people that struggle through it. And I'm really grateful for some of the people that can work through it. 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:40.000 together and get through it without, you know, such a hassle in the legal process. But yeah, it's definitely sticky. 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.000 Have you seen changes over the years, Veronica? 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:59.000 Um, I don't, like I said, I see the same people, the same questions, you know, there's young, there's older. I mean, it really surprises me when I see these older couples that have been married for 50 plus years and you're just like, what? Why? No. 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:29.000 Well, that is a trend. I mean, they're called gray divorces, right? And those can be very, you know, there's there's definitely some planning that go into these gray divorces because when when people who are over, I would say 60, you know, people who are over 60, they probably got married very young, maybe when they were, you know, 18, 19, 20 years old or younger. They may not have been in other relationships prior to getting married just because of when they got married. 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:59.000 And they managed to make it into their, you know, 60s, 50s, 60s and 70s. And then they're like, I'm just not going to do this again. And there's different consequences when you're at the end of your financial career than when you're at the beginning of your financial career. And believe it or not, there are like tax consequences to like, do you keep the house? Do you want to keep the house? How much retirement do I have? Those questions of how am I going to live and survive become even more relevant because you don't have this income 00:07:59.000 --> 00:08:29.000 stream available to you like you do if you're younger. You know, you are and a lot of times you have medical issues that you, you know, that are not going to resolve. And so what does that look like for you? You know, that each of the stages of your life come with different difficulties as you face divorce, as you face marriage, as you face remarriage, right? Like if you're younger and you are married for a second time, you probably don't have that much. 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:48.000 It's probably not as scary. But when you get into your 50s and 60s, you probably have more stuff and you and you're not going to have children with that second, you know, person. And you want your property to be able to go to your children and not necessarily your current spouse. You know, these are things these are some of the issues. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:09:00.000 I totally feel that because on a personal note, you know, when I separated from my husband for over that year, I was like that. I was like, man, I'm 45, 44. What am I doing? I'm 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:18.000 I can't do this again. Where, where is everything going? What am I going to do with the house? You know, I, I, I was pretty lost, you know, and I've been doing divorces for 18 years. But let me tell you, when you yourself are going through it, you know, you're there for people that have been through it, but when that emotion is so different when it's you yourself and... 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:19.000 Mhm. 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:37.000 I had those same questions that you, that, like you, like, you know, I'm on my husband's insurance and I was like, how am I going to carry insurance on myself? How do I do that? Where do I go? What am I doing with the house? What about our cars? Um, what about our kids? 00:09:37.000 --> 00:10:22.000 Yeah, those are all hard questions and they, and they, and they, those hard questions are, don't get any easier, you know, depending on how old you are and how long you've been married, sometimes they just get harder. I think one of the, one of the, you know, I've been doing this for long enough that I have seen a lot of changes in what the courts will do, um, the attitudes that people have about staying married because if, um, you know, um, it's just been in the last probably five or 10 years that getting married is just not, um, you know, not on the cards for a lot of people. There's not a benefit to getting married sometimes, um, that I think your generation, Haileigh, sees. Um, and yet they sit here and they play house and they buy things together and they live together and they... 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.000 Buy a house. 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:24.000 Yeah, that's right. 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:25.000 Everything but marriage. 00:10:25.000 --> 00:11:14.000 They do everything but marriage and, uh, unfortunately I see that it's usually the, the female or the, um, you know, the women in the relationship that end up with the burden of, I've just given up so much of my life to support this family that's not really a family and I'm walking out with nothing. And so these are, you know, these are things that like hurt my heart when I see that. I wish I could just tell people like, please see through my eyes what you see because you, you need to be smart about how you're protecting yourself and your relationship. My, my favorite thing to say is don't, uh, you need to be Fiona from Shrek. We're not, you know, Sleeping Beauty where we're waiting for somebody to save us. We are Fiona where we are saving ourselves. Because nobody cares about you more than you do. 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:16.000 Yeah. Very true. So true. 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:22.000 So, at any rate, well, yeah, well, I appreciate your guys's input today and I'm sure we'll, uh, be talking, we'll have other subjects to talk about. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:23.000 Yeah, for sure. 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:24.000 Thanks.